Sunday...time to go...and work to be done

Now I could bore you with all of the last minute details of me frantically trying to continue my learning, while packing and saying goodbye, checking out, getting lost at the airport, accosting some guy who's allowed to smoke in Michigan (oops...I forgot...I'm not in Ohio anymore), and finally arriving safe and sound back in Cleveland....but, I won't. Or maybe I just did.

So…as I bid ya’ll a fond farewell, some acknowledgments:

I send my heartfelt thanks to Scout, Marta, and Talia of the LGBT Tobacco Control Network who sponsored my trip to the Creating Change Conference.

I also give thanks for my fellow scholarshipees (again, my word): Blu, Sara Jaye, Hope and Trudy….it was my pleasure.

And to the countless other family members who made me feel so welcome and so at peace….thank you for your bravery, for your commitment, and for the joy that each of you brought to me either in workshop, at lunch or dinner, during happy hour, in the lobby, on the escalator, in passing, while dancing, ....in just being.

Good luck on your journey as each of us struggles to define ourselves (lest others do) in this vast world in which we live.

Know that I acknowledge you and I celebrate you….just as you are!

Until there's no work left to be done,

Maurice

Saturday is a beautiful day

Saturday started easy enough, but I also couldn’t escape the thought that my time in Detroit was nearing its end. The highlight of the day was by far….the afternoon workshop, “HIV/AIDS in Focus: HIV/AIDS Disparate Impact on African American Gay, Bisexual, and Same Gender Loving Men. Let me tell you…”I mighta walked in to this presentation as a sinner….but Lord I am saved after that sermon!” Ok, I gest a bit. But Ernest Hopkins and Hutson Innis….’laid it down’. Matt Foreman stopped by to take it all in, also. Ernest and Hutson walked us through the systematic exploitation of a segment of our LGBT contingent that is underserved, undertreated…and seemingly cast aside as far as public health is concerned.

Now…I’m using a bit of hyperbole but with a purpose! As Matt Foreman said….how does the CDC not address the outrageous number of persons of color, specifically African American Men and Women who are disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS?? How do we not have multiple culturally competent initiatives developed and implemented to stem the tide of this epidemic after 25 years of research??? This was the loudest call to action I heard throughout Creating Change. And maybe it’s because I am a black, gay male. I’ll own that. But as a public health worker…and someone who inherently believes that we all deserve equal treatment…it’s maddening to think that any group could seemingly be cast aside for reasons of ‘policy’. Ernest may have summed it up the best….when you empanel folks to make public health decisions about groups whom they themselves do not represent (either in ideal or in fact)…there may be a problem. And majority (read: Caucasian) epidemiologists and researchers may not have the experience with or the knowledge of diverse groups of persons, thus denying them a real life ‘stake’ in advocating for those who are less represented. We heard that every 3 of 4 African American youth who enter Detroit’s Ruth Ellis Center are HIV positive. Just let that one marinate for a bit. WTF….as Matt Foreman said….as Ernest and Hutson said….why is the governor of Michigan not screaming as we speak??? Are we resigned to this truth for our young people, for our men of color in the LGBT spectrum? God, I pray that we are better than this.

There was not nearly enough time to cover everything….but we definitely started a conversation that must be continued. My recommendation on the evaluation form….this topic needs to be expanded for the next Creating Change Conference. Ernest and Hutson provided a historical framework by which to examine the HIV/AIDS epidemic and how it has ravaged the LGBT community of color…and how it continues to do so. Good stuff, indeed!!!

The last session of the day was taught by the staff of Detroit’s Ruth Ellis center (amazing how the universe brings us full circle) and it was a social experiment rooted in acknowledging our differences, both good and bad. In “Cultural Competence – To Reach One is to Teach One, but How One Chooses to Teach One Will Determine How Far You Have to Reach”, we were asked to assume roles that were randomly assigned to us. I was a former teacher who had embezzled money and done some jail time. I was faced with getting a job and securing housing, upon my release from jail…otherwise I would have to return there. But the employment agency denied my application. Even tho’ it said a felony conviction would not prohibit my being hired. Then I went to apply for assistance with an agency that did not speak my native tongue, making it impossible for me to accurately complete the paperwork so vital to securing those services. Finally, I was denied housing, because I had no means to support myself. Meanwhile, there were other members of our community who had not a care in the world as they sipped champagne and ate cheese and crackers, fresh fruit, and chocolate.

It was an interesting experience to be sure. The group gave some great feedback about our individual experiences and the staff helped to frame it all in the context of the challenges facing our youth each day, some of the same youth served by the Ruth Ellis Center. There is sooo much freakin’ work to be done!!

So with that session over….it was time for some more networking and caucusing (is that a word?). The evening was capped off with a farewell dance that included a DJ and some above average music. I definitely worked up a sweat on the dance floor and I’m thankful to all my dance partners for keeping me moving. I was tired and almost didn’t get my ‘party’ on, but I’m sooo glad that I did. The night ended with a few celebratory drinks to mark the conclusion of our journey together. I even chatted into the wee hours with other politically minded folks who reveled in Barack’s big wins that weekend.

In closing, I must mention one final observation from Saturday’s dance. Hearing popular music that I love is way cool. Dancing with new friends as we feel the pulsating beats and work up a sweat is even cooler. But, the coolest thing of all, at least for me, is seeing our youth, our precious LGBT youth, with such hope, and such confidence, dancing the night away, at times grinding the night away with another of their choosing…without anyone saying a single disparaging thing about how that’s not cool…it nearly brought me to tears. It was just so wonderful to bear witness to the culmination of what others have worked so hard to impart to us. For me, a black gay male to be in a room where everyone celebrates me just as I am, and in fact, encourages me to be as subdued or outrageous as I dare be….is just a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L thing. And I celebrated with each of my kin folk as we bumped and grinded, and stepped and stomped, and danced til the music finally stopped…seemingly content with ourselves and our place in this vast world. If I could bottle that sensation, that feeling, and share it with others…I believe that our world would be a much happier place.

Friday is a full day

Friday morning started with a quick breakfast and then I headed off to the “Nuts & Bolts of Grant Seeking” hosted by the Arcus Foundation. Arcus is very cool. Our instructor was more than happy to share a ‘behind the scenes’ look at the world of grant funding. She told us what she looks for in a grant proposal….and what is more likely to get funded than some others. I felt like it was great practical knowledge that could be applied…immediately. It also gave me some new ideas for grant funding that could be related to a variety of health endeavors back in Ohio…especially as related to providing outreach to the LGBT community of Greater Cleveland.

Next up….the reason we’re all here….”Money on the Table: Tobacco as Gateway Funding”. It was nice to see the network firing on all cylinders. I met Scout, PHD…and he’s super cool. He gave an impassioned and informed presentation that included a roll call where each person told what state they were from. Scout then proceeded to tell us all the state of tobacco funding related to our home states and the LGBT community. I was alarmed, as were others from the Buckeye State, when he told us that an RFP had been put out in Ohio, but no one responded. I’m from the largest public health district in the state and Columbus was present as well. We all asked what??? This was definitely a talking point throughout the rest of the conference. If tobacco monies were available…several of us were interested in tapping into it especially given the difference in smoking rates between the LGBT and hetero communities.

Scout also told us about the BRFSS and how some states asked the sexual orientation question….which was HUGE…because with such an answer….one now has the capacity to track LGBT smoking rates. There was even one state that initially declined dollars b/c of their offense at asking clients about sexual orientation. Even cooler…Scout gave us a previously tested and highly valid question that had been used on other state BRFSS questionnaires for us to bring back to our respective organizations. All in all…pretty cool presentation, plus I linked up with other folks from Cleveland and Columbus.

I wolfed down lunch so that I could hear Matt Foreman’s “State of the Movement” at lunch time. Damn….can I just say…he is soooo passionate about what we as LGBTQI, MSM, SGL, etc, etc….need to do to impact our community for the better. He also took a few shots at some of the idiots in Washington, complete with real live photos taken from news clips….absolutely hysterical, and often sobering in their matter of fact delivery. I was moved by his conviction and I kept thinking….’there’s so much work left to do.’

After lunch, there were 2 more sessions: First up, “A Dialog with Youth About Sex: Talking Sex and Sexual Freedom.” Now having been a youth educator/health educator previously…I was very interested to hear what our youth were saying about sexual health and empowerment, issues of contraception and stds. I’m also not a prude…but these young people blew me away. They spoke with such an informed and steady position, they clearly knew who they were and what they wanted. Now I was not there at 16 or 18…hell, I’m not sure if I’m there at 35, but I do firmly believe if we are going to affect adolescent health in a healthy way….we must be open to feedback from the group we hope to serve. I ended up in a group of mostly youth and maybe 4 adults playing a game of ‘I never.’ Scary, indeed! But, I was encouraged that after one round around the circle, youth again found their voice to say, ‘let’s talk about protection,’ ‘let’s have a serious conversation’; ‘what about hiv/aids and stds?’. One young man even suggested some of the more boisterous members break off from the group so that ‘the rest of us’ might have a more ‘informed’ conversation. Again…I was blown away. I was only able to stay for the first half b/c next up is a tobacco focused presentation: “From You’ve Come a Long Way Baby to Bitch to Quit: Smoking, Queer Gals, and How to Stop It.”

So….this was equally lively as multiple panelists shared their experiences with different public health initiatives to reduce smoking within the LGBT community. The Mautner Project was up first. The project offers smoking cessation and its program had wide success with the campaign “Delicious Lesbian Kisses”. The group designed a pair of lips with a reflector attached. A single battery would make the red light ‘flash’ simulating a pulsating lip. Now I’m a guy…who likes guys, but I gotta say this is H-O-T!! Now that’s the way to catch someone’s attention. And once you get closer…you see that Delicious Lesbian Kisses are best delivered by a non-smoker! Again…I love it. Great concept…and the evaluation suggested….it worked.

Talia did a fine job representing the Network and presented tobacco data that reinforced the need to target the LGBT community with both prevention and especially, cessation efforts. She also set the stage for Chicago’s endeavors….aka “Bitch to Quit”. Again, another cool presentation as we were walked through this public health endeavor aimed at lesbian women in Chicago. I was most impressed by the ‘fashion forward’ approach…essentially the Lesbian Community Cancer Project says ‘we know it’s a bitch to quit, so here’s a suggestion….here’s a book of matches (complete with logo and helpful info), when you finish this book….you’re finished with smoking!’ And it seemed to work…and well, I might add. Very progressive I thought…and the target audience seemed to love it. Public Health….sometimes you got step outside the box….and I think this group did a bang up job. Another ‘hot’ presentation!

Now that the afternoon session is over….it’s back to the room for a quick change and a cold drink (you know the kind I mean) and then it’s off to the big reception hosted by the American Legacy Foundation.

I have to say…I thought it sounded like a conservative think tank….who knew it had been founded as a result of the Master Settlement. The reception was off the charts with wonderful food, drink, mingling, and GREAT information about the state of the LGBT community and tobacco. Talia and I were posted outside the room encouraging others to take a look inside. Scout said the number of attendees was nearly double that of the previous reception. Go Talia…we worked it! Plus, I met some folks from Cleveland whom I was told to look for (by a co-worker) but had no idea until I returned to work that the same nice lady I mingled with was the one I was supposed to meet. Small world, eh? Our universe has a way of working things out. But I digress….Scout opened the evening by recognizing our gracious host from the American Legacy Foundation. After a few encouraging words…Scout revved up the group with a no holds barred call to action. When he said that we as LGBT people spend billions on tobacco and roughly 600K on social justice activities…I thought, ‘whoa…what’s wrong with this picture?’ And yet…I do the same thing. If I gave half of my monthly bar tab to the community in a more meaningful way (charity contribution, program sponsorship, etc)…not only would the community benefit….but my body would thank me for the break. Think about that one a second. Social Justice versus Entertainment. I know who needs the victory more.

Anyways….it was good stuff. It was a wonderful opportunity to chat with others about our health. I think the larger conference should devote more time to LGBT Health in its entirety. Again, I’m left thinking….’there’s so much work to do.’

Now here’s the really sad part of my story. After a full on day of events…and a way cool reception to cap off the day….I’m freakin exhausted. And even tho’ there was a HUGE House Ball that evening….I totally fell asleep. Oopsie….when I woke up at 2:30am…uh, it was a little late to get my ‘party’ on.

***On a side bar note…my roomie missed her flight and didn’t make the conference. I was really looking forward to meeting her. I also had hoped to further the discussion of the Two Spirit philosophy. If you read this….email me.

Thursday's events

Thursday was my first day of school, charm school…that is. I attended the “Charm School for Activists” presentation, an all day workshop that promoted social justice and advocacy. We talked about ‘framing’ a particular issue….and the benefits of doing so. It’s important that you define your issue…lest others do it in your stead. So ‘gay marriage’ becomes ‘marriage equality’; ‘at risk’ becomes ‘at promise’. I cited the Ohio example of a tobacco usage campaign aimed at our voters. The initiative called Smoke Free Ohio would ban smoking in public areas (bingo halls, stadiums, bars/restaurants, bowling alleys, etc.) Suddenly, Smoke Less Ohio hit the ground running. Smoke Less Ohio used confusing language and if it passed…it would alter the Ohio Constitution. Public health advocates went to work and ‘framed’ the issue and created the slogan “No on 4 (Smoke Less), Yes on 5 (Smoke Free). Issue 4 failed…and Issue 5 passed by a large margin. As a result….Ohio public venues are now smoke free!

We also learned about lobbying and the importance of getting your message across. I learned about rectal microbicides and how they have been tested and proven to reduce the rate of HIV and other STDs through anal intercourse. Who knew? If there’s something out there that keeps all of us safer…why not use it?? Oh….because the HIV drugs that are currently on the market cost more…I guess the pharmaceuticals don’t wanna share their profits. This totally sucks!

But back to Charm School….one of the most informative things was in the afternoon section, when we put our theory into practice. Several groups were formed to tackle one of the topics listed in the morning session. My group tackled patient empowerment which was a blend of health disparities and sexual health. Essentially we created a 5 statement handout that included the ‘Benefits of Being “Out” to Your Medical Provider’. The group concluded with everyone sharing their final product. We then formed a circle of acknowledgment to end the day…and this was the most moving part of all. To join with a community of folks like me…who accepted me just as I am…and who celebrated me just as I am….was nothing short of AMAZING. It was inspiring, and self affirming and just awesome….and as my words flowed…so did my tears. But all the while I was comforted by this group of strangers…who accepted me as one of their own. All of this, plus I learned how to be a better activist for the LGBT community. This is an all day workshop that comes highly recommended.

To cap off the evening….Julian Bond offered the welcoming keynote address and talked about LGBT rights being synonymous with civil rights. This man is remarkable and I’ve had the privilege of meeting him up close and personal at a Black History Month Event at Northern Kentucky University some time ago. What an inspiration!

After this session concluded….all scholarship recipients met in the lobby. It was great to finally meet the people I had spoken to on the phone. It was nice to meet my fellow ‘scholarshipees’…yeah I made up that word, but it was cool to meet everyone. I finally got back to the room after 11pm….it was an exhaustive day…but still amazing, too.

Where do I begin?

First, let me send out a huge "THANKS" to all who assisted me in making this trip. There are so many, but I need to acknowledge just a few.

But, let's digress for a moment. I'm Maurice Cole from Cleveland, OH. I'm a Black, gay male MPH student who works for the Cuyahoga County Board of Health. Yep, that about sums me up...at least enough for me to continue on.

Back to the acknowledgements: my friend Tim, who works for the Cleveland Department of Public Health, sent me an email about the National LGBT Tobacco Control Network sponsoring a scholarship to attend the Creating Change Conference. Hmmm...I thought. LGBT Tobacco Control....is that Marta?

You see, in October of 2007, on my birthday (the 1st), I attended a tobacco related workshop in Columbus, OH. Marta was a presenter and she shared with the assembly lots of really "striking" information about tobacco use among the LGBT community. As I sat amongst my colleagues (to whom I was not 'out') I thought 'damn, this is a huge issue'. I thought about my responsibility to serve the community. That's what public health is all about. So how can I serve the LGBT community of Greater Cleveland? And at what cost? It's one thing to be 'gay', it's another to be 'gay' at work. Tim has done it. And proudly I might add. If only I could follow in his footsteps, I thought. Marta issued the challenge. She told us of the work left to be done...and I thought to myself (quietly)...maybe this can be my contribution to my organization. I considered that maybe next summer for Cleveland PRIDE, I'll be spreading the word about tobacco and the LGBT community.

I had a chance to speak to Marta that day. And I froze. I wrote in my essay (to receive this scholarship) that I was uncertain then....but that I'm ready now.

Which finally (thanks for staying with me) leads me back to here. Since I haven't posted yet...I'll just try and separate things out a bit.

Wednesday:

I started work at 7am at the Board of Health. I left work at 12pm and headed home to grab lunch, finish packing, and head to the aiport. My boyfriend (wow, it feels reallyl cool to say that) dropped me off at the airport (hey Ivan). After arriving at the airport, I boarded a Wayne State bus and headed to the Renaissance Center. Why on earth did I pack all these clothes, I grumbled. I met AJ, our guide, who told us of his pending nuptials with his partner of 6 years. AJ said "it's two weeks from today" (using Wednesday, not Friday). We all congratulated him. They're heading to Canada...marriage for all is legal there. I also met Chris, our driver. He introduced himself...and then asked us coyly...what is the only name that he'll respond to? Yells of "Chris" and "Hey Chris" were heard. Nope. "Daddy" he deadpans. Wow...welcome to Detroit.

The guys made the trip memorable. And after checking in...I took a quick 'disco nap'. Hey...don't knock it til you try it. After checking in with my newest gal pal Talia (you really are such a joy....on the phone and in person) I got myself set for Thursday and grabbed a quick bite to eat. I mingled with some other conference goers....but I can't give away all our secrets...needless to say....it's just wonderful to have interface with folks who share some commonality. TRULY wonderful!

You know what....I'll save Thursday for tomorrow...or later today (Friday). I need to get up early....so I'll see ya'll in a few.

Special thanks to my tobacco colleagues and supervisor....all of whom without 'blinking an eye' said...'sure, okay, well let us know how it goes' regarding the scholarship. And who celebrated with me when I got the news that I had been selected to attend the conference. All of this was exchanged with nary a direct conversation about my being gay and why this conference had both public health and personal health implications. Thanks Ya'll!!